It’s really been no secret to people who know me that I’ve had a rough couple of years and I wasn’t coping with it in a very healthy way. A few months ago I could feel myself start to come out of the fog I had been in and decided that it was time to really work on turning things around. I started to focus my energy on things that made me feel happier and to stop worrying about things that caused stressed. This helped, but I was still sad more than I probably needed to be.
In the middle of August I started to read Learned Optimism, by Martin Seligman, which, admittedly, I haven’t finished. Work has been pretty busy and I haven’t had time to read for fun. Anyway, as I read the first few chapters of this book back in August, I discovered that I’m a pessimist! Okay, that’s not exactly a revelation. However, what was interesting to me were the ideas about thought processes that drive pessimism. For instance, pessimists often attribute successes to external factors and failures to internal factors. While reading this I kept thinking, “Holy crap! This is totally me!”
When good things happen to me I tend to feel like a fraud. Like I tricked someone into thinking I did more or am more than I am. And when I don’t feel this way, I’m constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, which doesn’t really let me enjoy things.
As I continue to read this book (which I hope to start tonight!), I hope to learn how to change my thought patterns to really learn to be optimistic. I hope I can learn to really enjoy the good and feel deserving of it. I also hope that I can start reflecting much more optimism on this blog.
After all, it’s time to have a little more sunshine over here, don’tcha think?
