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Growing Up

In my last post I alluded to the fact that I would be turning 30 in a few months.  This feels huge to me, whether or not it should.  In fact, I remember being gripped with fear over turning 30 when I was 25.  Clearly, I have dramatic tendencies.  Anyway, over the past couple of years I have often found myself shocked to find that people that I knew that seemed so grown up and mature were actually younger than me.  It wasn’t the way they looked, but the way they carried themselves and crafted their lives that gave them this adult-like presence.  Meanwhile, I’ve been in this weird not-quite-a-college-student-but-not-really-an-adult phase. 

So, I’ve been thinking about the characteristics that these “role models” of mine have that make them seem so grown up.  It seems to me that grown ups tend to:

  1. Decorate and make their homes nice-looking
  2. Cook real meals
  3. Have wide-spread networks of friends, colleagues, and acquaintances
  4. Exercise
  5. Be well-groomed and nicely dressed (I really don’t think it would hurt me to pluck my eyebrows before they reached caveman status)
  6. Whine less so that they can spend more time getting things done
  7. Be friendly

I wonder if adopting these traits would make me carry myself differently.

Now, I realize that these “models of adulthood” aren’t perfect.  And I don’t expect perfection from myself.  But I do expect myself to try a little harder because I’m not a college student anymore.  I haven’t been for a really, really long time.  And it’s time for me to finally step up.

Hello, There

Hello, there, little blog.  I’ve missed you. 

After a weekend away to visit one of my best friends I’m feeling inspired.  I’d like to spend more time cooking, baking, reading, and crafting.  And I think I’d like to write about my attempts at these things. 

Plus, I’m feeling excited about a big birthday I’ll be celebrating in a few months.  I’d like to pull myself together a little bit more before this milestone.  I think I’d like to write about my attempt at this, as well.

So, I think I’m back again.  I’m excited to write more soon.  Keep in touch?

Welcome, February!

There are so many reasons that I find January to be a depressing month.  It’s cold.  It’s dark.  It’s post-holiday.  You get the idea.  But I have felt so happy the past couple of days to finally be out of the January blahs.  In February I start to get my motivation back and generally have a much sunnier outlook on everything.

The past few days or so I’ve been thinking about the resolutions I set for myself at the beginning of the year.  I haven’t done a lot with them.  Yet.  I’m not disappointed.  I knew this would happen, given the sluggishness I feel at the beginning of the year.  Going into the new year, I knew February would be a much better month to start putting my resolutions into practice. 

However, I know that I have to take things one step at a time.  I am one of those people who is constantly plagued by grand plans.  And I have so many things that I’d like to work on that if I try to do it all now, I’ll become so overwhelmed that I’ll throw in the towel on everything.  This year, much like last year, I’m choosing to focus on one thing at a time to hopefully create long lasting habits.

In addition to creating some healthier habits, I’ve also been thinking about ways that I can change my general attitude.  This began with deciding to read Learned Optimism, by Martin Seligman, which helped me a lot in challenging my pessimistic thought processes.  (Although, I have to admit, that I’m still really, really, really working on that one.)  In addition, to being more optimistic, I’m choosing to say “yes” more, lighten up A LOT, and put more effort into being a better conversationalist. 

I’m hoping that focusing on these things over the next several months will make me feel happier and healthier, and that starting in February, with the increasing sunshine and warmer temperatures, will help me stay motivated.

Finding a Focus

It’s weird.  I’ve been really excited about getting back into writing on here.  I’ve written quite a few posts in my head and even logged on a few times.  But every time I sit down to write something, I’m overcome with nervousness and choose to browse Facebook or Pinterest instead.  Even now, I’m feeling extremely anxious and seriously considering calling off the whole thing.  Is there such a thing as “blog fright?”

Anyway, tonight I told myself that I was just going to sit down and write.  And here I am.

A few weeks ago one of my friends told me that my blog didn’t really have a focus, which is true.  I think that’s part of why I’ve been having a hard time writing.  I know what I wanted this blog to be when I started but things have changed, and I’m not sure that’s what I want it to be anymore. 

Personally, I’ve been really focusing on putting myself back together.  Stemming from that, I think I want this blog to be a place where I can talk about how I’m cultivating happiness in my life.  Instead of spending a lot of time talking about recipes and whatnot, I plan to write more about how I’m trying to re-kick start my habit forming resolution and retraining my brain toward optimism, in addition to other things that make me feel a little more light.  Aside from those things, I want to have the freedom to write about whatever–even if that means breaking my “focus” every once in awhile. 

Hopefully redefining what I’m doing on here will make writing less scary and help keep my outlook more positive.

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Learning Optimism

It’s really been no secret to people who know me that I’ve had a rough couple of years and I wasn’t coping with it in a very healthy way.  A few months ago I could feel myself start to come out of the fog I had been in and decided that it was time to really work on turning things around.  I started to focus my energy on things that made me feel happier and to stop worrying about things that caused stressed.  This helped, but I was still sad more than I probably needed to be.

In the middle of August I started to read Learned Optimism, by Martin Seligman, which, admittedly, I haven’t finished.  Work has been pretty busy and I haven’t had time to read for fun.  Anyway, as I read the first few chapters of this book back in August, I discovered that I’m a pessimist!  Okay, that’s not exactly a revelation.  However, what was interesting to me were the ideas about thought processes that drive pessimism.  For instance, pessimists often attribute successes to external factors and failures to internal factors.  While reading this I kept thinking, “Holy crap!  This is totally me!”

When good things happen to me I tend to feel like a fraud.  Like I tricked someone into thinking I did more or am more than I am.  And when I don’t feel this way, I’m constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, which doesn’t really let me enjoy things.

As I continue to read this book (which I hope to start tonight!), I hope to learn how to change my thought patterns to really learn to be optimistic.  I hope I can learn to really enjoy the good and feel deserving of it.  I also hope that I can start reflecting much more optimism on this blog. 

After all, it’s time to have a little more sunshine over here, don’tcha think?

Agreed

This post about turning 30 from a blog I read really resonated with me.  I’m not quite 30 yet, but I totally get and love the writer’s message.  I’ve decided to link to it here because I found it inspiring and want to be able to refer back to it as needed.